The Enneagram for Teens

The Enneagram for Teens


Elizabeth Wagele:

Great review by a teen!

Originally posted on The Enneagram:

Teenagers. Stop. Read.

First off, no, the Enneagram is not super confusing. Yes, I realize the name of it is quite strange. But, “ennea” means nine in Greek and “gram” means drawing. Simply stated, the Enneagram is a drawing with nine points. However, it is much more than that. It provides you with tools to examine and realize that your strengths are different from your best friends and your other family members. THAT IS A RELIEF! A GOOD THING! A GREAT THING!

 Adolescence (noun)

  1. the transition period between childhood and adulthood.
  2. confusion.

Many people my age, 17, struggle with who they really are. This is directly correlational with Erikson’s Psychosocial Stage of Development, Identity vs. Role Confusion ranging from ages 12 to 20 years. A few examples of this involve the life of Allyson Rae, me! I’ve been in plays, choirs, sports teams, volunteer clubs, and much more randomness. Don’t…

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http://ow.ly/BPAvm Important new book for teens to have: Wagele’s newest. Who r u? #parents #school #high school #family #adolescent

Who is the Real Me?


Family

My sister, mother, me, my father, c. 1952.

Have you ever wondered about the difference between who you are and who you’re pretending to be? I’m searching my earliest memories, when my environment had the least impact on me, to help me find out.

 

• My love of music goes back forever. I had to have been born with it. This points to preferring the feeling side of life—the arts, beauty, people, psychology, etc. There’s not much argument against the MBTITM preferences (introversion and extraversion, feeling and thinking, for example) being inborn; I believe I’ve also been individualistic, focused on possibilities, and empathic from the beginning.

 

• When my older sister and my mother screamed at each other, did I freak out and cringe behind the closed door because I naturally disliked conflict? Or did I dislike conflict because their screaming traumatized me? I think I have the anti-conflict gene, if there is such a thing, which Enneagram 9-Peace Seekers and 5-Observers (my type) share. I thrive on peace and dislike drama in my life.

 

• Football players and wrestlers like rough contact, even getting hurt, and don’t usually mind trading insults. This is not the real me for sure! I’m as far as one can get from typical players of contact sports, often 8-Asserters in the Enneagram.

 

• Are you too lazy to spend 55 minutes beautifying yourself every day, as the average woman does? My mother, a 2-Helper, wasn’t. She put on lipstick, powder, rouge, and eye makeup every day, finishing by brushing mascara on her two or three white hairs as a quick cover up. She never allowed me to touch her shiny auburn hair. When I see apes bond by running their fingers through each other’s hair, looking for dirt and parasites, the feeling of disappointment comes back. My mother’s interest in her appearance influenced my attitude. I’m not totally lacking in vanity, but I don’t spend much time on it.

 

• Whenever my mother and I passed through the huge main doors of ZCMI, the big department store in Salt Lake City, she would beeline it to the nearest set of mirrors. We could not talk until she was satisfied with her lipstick, powder, and the angle of her hat. Every so often she’d spot another mirror and recheck herself. Would my mother be as interested in mirrors if she happened to be ugly instead of pretty? Wondering this led me to thinking it would be fairer if humans didn’t have bodies. I wished we could be spirits and relate to one another purely from our inner selves, a wish I almost forgot about when puberty set in.

 

• My father, a 5-Observer and a scientist, was a role model to me for thinking logically—and he did not suffer fools gladly. I’m thankful I picked up his respect for the intellect, but maybe I tricked myself into thinking I could also be strong and smart like him if I were more critical of others. Being like him would compensate for feeling weak. Now, however, I am more interested in being kind than in one-upping anyone. Being true to my real self by being empathic beats having a false sense of strength.

 

Visit http://wagele.com to check out my books, CD, cartoons, essays, music, and Famous Enneagram Types.

 

 

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The Enneagram and Lord of the Rings, Part III: Types 6 and 2. By guest blogger, Kelly Gomez.


Sam

Sam

You may recall the Frodo has characteristics of the type 6 Enneagram personality, the Questioner. Frodo makes his way to Mordor, where he can destroy the One Ring, which Sauron would like to reclaim. His friend, Sam, travels with him and is a type 2. They make a great team and Sam supports Frodo through his encouraging words.

 

Sometimes a type 6 can also be pessimistic, but also concerned about the safety of others. The discussion that Frodo has with his friend, Sam, a 2-Helper, demonstrates a type 6’s need for security and support.

 

Frodo: Mordor… I hope the others find a safer road.

 

Sam: Strider’ll look after them.

 

Frodo: I don’t suppose we’ll ever see them again.

 

Sam: We may yet, Mr. Frodo. We may.

 

Frodo: Sam… I’m glad you’re with me.” 

 

I couldn’t help thinking about how happy Frodo must feel to have his friend Sam to be there when he enters the gates of Mordor. Mordor is the place Frodo needs to go before he reaches the top of Mount Doom (in order to have the ring destroyed in fiery lava). Sam is the perfect person to accompany Frodo on his journey because he is on his side every step of the way.

 

Type 2’s bring the sunshine to type 6’s. Their motivation comes from a personal desire to feel loved and valued by the people around them. A type 2 may believe that if he takes care of others, everyone will be okay, and that is what makes him feel happy. Type 2’s tend to be optimistic and try to see the good in all things. In this quote Sam has recognized why venturing out into the world is important:

 

Sam: It’s like in the great stories Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn’t want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end it’s only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines it’ll shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something even if you were too small to understand why. But I think Mr. Frodo, I do understand, I know now folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going because they were holding on to something.

 

Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?

 

Sam: That there’s some good in the world, Mr. Frodo, and it’s worth fighting for.

 

Ultimately, 6’s doubt or question their decisions so they need encouragement and reminders of why what they are doing is important.

 

I thought the song “May It Be” (originally written by Enya) was a perfect compilation of both type 2 and 6. I liked the version by Celtic Woman, although the film, Lord of the Rings, uses Enya’s version. “May it Be” can be found here. It displays movie clips from Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (4th book), as well as Celtic Woman’s version of the song.  [[The movie clips from this link portray a love story intertwined with one of the travelers on Frodo’s journey, but is different from my interpretation of the song in the next paragraph.]]

 

The lyrics to this song remind me of Frodo as he begins his journey: “You walk a lonely road, oh how far you are from home.” And the lyrics in the second verse and refrain remind me of Sam’s comforting words to Frodo: “When the night is overcome, you may rise to find the sun; Mornie Utulie (darkness has come); Believe and you will find your way.”

 

The lyrics, “May it be your journey on, to light a new day” bring life to the character Sam as a type 2. Type 2’s bring light to every new day with their warm personality and eagerness to make things seem brighter. Sam’s purpose on this journey with Frodo is to bring light to every darkness they encounter.

 

The soothing sound of the strings begin to quiet themselves at 2:26 and gradually rise in intensity until 2:36. Beginning slowly and cautiously, as a type 6 is concerned for safety, they gain courage as the intensity builds and become daring like a counter-phobic 6. The music rises and falls from there, like the similar anxiety a 6 may have with making up his mind. However the lyrics repeat again, “a promise lives within you now” and the music calms again, as if Frodo’s personal journey now has a purpose and direction.  

 

If you would like more information on the Lord of the Rings, you can check out the link below. This is a very entertaining plot synopsis of the triology:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzti9LP7gN8

Quotes brought to you by http://www.imbd.com/title/tt0120737/quotes and http://blog.gaiam.com/quotes/authors/samwise-gamgee/52080

Kelly Gomez is a student at the University of California, Berkeley, majoring in English. She was an extern for Elizabeth for two weeks during winter break, 2014.

 

Frodo (Elijah Wood)

Frodo (Elijah Wood)

 

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Visit http://wagele.com to check out Elizabeth’s books, CD, cartoons, essays, music, and Famous Enneagram Types.

 

The Enneagram and “Lord of the Rings,” Part II: Types 6, 5, and 8. By guest blogger, Kelly Gomez.


3-GaladIf Frodo’s personality type in Lord of the Rings (Enneagram 6, the Questioner) interests you, you might also be interested in checking out these quotes from the book series. Often dialogue helps us to understand a character’s motives, as they express their opinion to another character.

 

In the following passage, Frodo is speaking with Galadriel, the Elven co-ruler of Lothlorien. Originally rings were made and given to the Elves. Galadriel was the keeper of a ring called Nenya, and she used it to keep her kingdom safe. Sauron is the keeper of a ring, too, but he uses it for very evil purposes. The ring Sauron wears ends up getting lost in a battle and comes into the hands of Frodo. Galadriel tells Frodo to look into a magic mirror, where he can see glimpses of the future. Galadriel is aware of what might happen if she uses Frodo’s ring. She believes the ring might corrupt her, as it will corrupt anyone else who wears it. The ring is a source of great power, which is why Sauron wants it so badly.

 

Frodo: If you ask it of me, I will give you the One Ring.

 

Galadriel: You offer it to me freely? I do not deny that my heart has greatly desired this.

 

[Galadriel is now tempted by the ring’s power and starts to describe her possible future.]

 

Galadriel: In the place of a Dark Lord you would have a Queen! Not dark but beautiful and terrible as the Morn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth! All shall love me and despair!

 

Galadriel: I have passed the test. I will diminish, and go into the West, and remain Galadriel.

 

Frodo: I cannot do this alone.

 

Galadriel: You are a Ring-bearer, Frodo. To bear a Ring of Power is to be alone.

 

Galadriel: This is Nenya, the Ring of Adament. And I am its keeper. This task was appointed to you, and if you do not find a way, no one will.

 

Frodo: I know what I must do, it’s just that… I’m afraid to do it.

 

Galadriel: Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.  

 

                    The power of the ring is so great that it has become the object of Frodo’s obsession. He would like nothing more to give the ring up for good, where he would not have to fight against the evil temptations it puts on him. Knowing that Galadriel would readily take the ring eases his burden, however, and he offers it up. But Galadriel decides not to take the ring, reminding Frodo that he alone must carry it. Galadriel’s response is typical of a type 5, the Observer, to suggest that a burden must be carried alone.

 

                  When type 6’s are afraid, they may either respond recklessly or look to those who might be able to eliminate their anxieties for them. Remember, they are team players? Even though 6’s are dutiful with their responsibilities, they often rely on their team to help them out when they feel anxious. Frodo believes if he gives the ring to someone else, he will have escaped the anxiety caused by his responsibility, which is to destroy it in the fires of Mount Doom.

 

   Gandolf2               

 

 

 

                   It is perfectly normal for anybody to be afraid of the ring’s power at this point. However, different personality types react differently when they are afraid. A Type 8 person would be more likely to charge ahead because to be afraid shows weakness. Being afraid is something a type 8 must conquer, because fear is manipulative, and manipulation is something 8’s despise. Sauron is an example of a type 8 at its worst. When Galadriel first knew Sauron, his name was Annatar. She knew him well, and mistrusted his thoughts and motives, yet never took action against him. Later his name was changed to Sauron, when he became evil with the forces of the One Ring and his personality changed to combative, possessive, and arrogant.

 

Because she is “Conscious of Sauron’s power, and wish[es] to thwart it, she [does] not openly use the powers of her ring as long as the One Ring [is] in Sauron’s hands. However, during the Third Age, when the One Ring [is] lost, she [puts her ring, Nenya,] to good use protecting the borders of her realm. For the powers of her ring [are] protection, preservation, and concealment from evil.”( www.lotr.wikia.com)

 

Galadriel is similar to a type 5 because she takes precautionary measures to secure her kingdom in a non-confronting manner. She does not make accusations against Sauron until he uses his ring to control the nations and keepers of their rings. Galadriel simply waits until he loses the one ring (now in Frodo’s possession) and does what she can to keep herself safe. She believes that whatever battle over the one ring is to take place will be between Sauron and Frodo.

 

The introduction to the movie, which explains the origin of the rings, can be found here:

 

While listening, notice the pattern in the background music that was created to represent Sauron’s character. Its intensity closely resembles type 8, the Asserter, in the Enneagram.

 

 Kelly Gomez is a student at the University of California, Berkeley, majoring in English. She was an extern for Elizabeth for two weeks during winter break, 2014.

 

Join the FaceBook page The Enneagram in the Movies.

 

Visit http://wagele.com to check out Elizabeth’s books, CD, cartoons, essays, music, and Famous Enneagram Types.

 

See Elizabeth’s appearance on TV talking about “The Enneagram of Death.”

 

4-Gandolf

 

The Enneagram and Lord of the Rings, Part I: Frodo, Type 6. By guest blogger, Kelly Gomez


Frodo (Elijah Wood)

Frodo (Elijah Wood)

How do authors create dynamic characters for their novels? Many people believe authors know people who are characters in themselves, and choose to write a book based on the characters in their own lives. Sometimes, although less common, authors create characters that were inspired by a well-known personality type. There are plenty of personality types out there, derived from many different systems, such as the Myers-Briggs system, The Temperament God Gave You temperament system, and the Enneagram. The Enneagram is an interesting personality system because it teaches us how different people are motivated; whether it is a drive for success, emotional security, or the need to feel loved.  

 

                  In the series, The Lord of The Rings, and in the first book (The Fellowship of the Rings) a hobbit, Frodo, is called by a great wizard to go on a long and perilous journey. Frodo agrees to venture on this journey because he believes it is his duty after he is entrusted with a magic ring. The ring holds an insurmountable power, and must be destroyed before powers of the Dark Forces discover it. The only way for the ring to be destroyed is if it is taken to Mount Doom by Frodo. One thing clearly explained in the first book of the series is that most hobbits never leave their homes or communities under any circumstance. What is surprising is that Frodo joins Gandalf and agrees to leave his home behind. He is accompanied by his gardener and friend, Sam Gamgee. (Pictured, Frodo Baggins)

 

                 What kind of hobbit would choose to leave all the comforts of food, warmth, and shelter in order to venture on a dangerous journey?

 

                  Frodo’s personality is similar to the type 6 personality of the Enneagram, the Questioner. A type 6 makes decisions based on their need for personal safety. Frodo may feel that not returning the ring could put his life in danger if the Dark Forces were to find it in the Shire (where the hobbits live). Sometimes a type 6 may choose to take risks (even dangerous ones) in order to conquer their fear of risk taking. Frodo is like a counter-phobic type 6 and prefers to boldly confront danger instead of run away from it. Type 6’s are also very loyal and dutiful and seek the guidance of those in authority. It wouldn’t be unusual for Frodo to accept the ring that was given to him by his uncle, and to accompany the great wizard on a journey (as his duty) to prevent the Dark Forces from destroying the world.

 

A few bloggers have also commented on who they believe Frodo to be:

 

“Frodo definitely is possessed of a noble and admirable character. We can look at the various words used in this criterion by definition: Noble – lofty and exalted character – showing greatness and magnanimity; Magnanimous – noble of mind and heart; generous in forgiving, above revenge or resentment; unselfish; gracious; Admirable – to have a high opinion of; to esteem or respect.” (lotrscrapbook.bookloaf.net)

 

 “INFP…Frodo Baggins.” (http://mbtitruths.blogspot.com)

 

“Frodo, the ring-bearer, carrying a burden that ripped him apart from the inside and almost destroyed everything he was…had the vision, bravery and resolve of character to get the ring all the way to Mordor… [To] not recognize him as one of the noblest of heroes shows a great lack of understanding of the power of evil and forgets that though Frodo makes it look easy, it wasn’t.”

 

 

Merry and Pippin

Merry and Pippin

 

According to The Enneagram Made Easy, written by Elizabeth Wagele, type 6’s like to work in teams. At the edge of the Shire (the town where Frodo lives), he meets Merry and Pippin, two other hobbit brothers that decide to join him. Frodo (a type 6) welcomes them on his journey because he knows that it would be more fun with others to accompany him.

 

Kelly Gomez is a student at the University of California, Berkeley, majoring in English. She was an extern for Elizabeth for two weeks during winter break, 2014.

 

See Are You My Type, Am I Yours on Amazon.com

 

Visit http://wagele.com to check out Elizabeth’s books, CD, cartoons, essays, music, and Famous Enneagram Types.

 

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