“Peace Seekers” as Children (Type 9)

The Peace Seeker child
From “The Enneagram of Parenting” by Elizabeth Wagele

The first thing that comes to my mind when thinking about Peace Seeker style children I know is their desire to connect with others in a positive way. Most try to avoid conflict as much as possible. Trying to understand others’ points of view makes them good mediators. They prefer staying in a pleasant zone where things are going along smoothly and they can remain accepting of different people’s opinions and styles of doing things. It’s good to remember that Peace Seekers are often quite sensitive; one reason they like harmony is because they can’t stand disharmony. Strong discipline is not only unnecessary but can be harmful.

Peace Seekers are often slow to recognize their own anger (this is something they share with many Perfectionist children), so parents and teachers can be helpful by giving them permission to express some anger when appropriate. As the drawing shows, Peace Seeker children often have a natural affinity for nature and/or the spiritual side of life.

In “Finding the Birthday Cake,” the Ninosaur is a Peace Seeker who generously wants to give back to everyone on his birthday rather than thinking about receiving gifts himself. This is the foundation for the plot for this book that teaches the Enneagram to children. (It can be purchased at Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Indiebound.)

Some music in the style of the Peace Seeker is “Row, Row, Row Your Boat,” “Dock of the Bay,” and the Beethoven sonata examples in the Peace Seeker or Nine Chapter of The Beethoven Enneagram {Amazon.com).

“The Enneagram of Parenting” (HarperCollins) can be purchased at Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Indiebound

Which Enneagram Type Makes the Best Friend? (Type 2)

Tina TwoIn “Finding the Birthday Cake,” Tina Two is helping the hostess with the birthday party she’s giving for the Ninosaur. Tina is trying to make it the friendliest party in the world. She’s likely to grow up to choose a career from “The Career Within You” that has something to do with working with people. She’ll be a good harmonizer in any case because Helpers thrive on creating ways to help others feel comfortable.

Helper type children usually try to be good, especially at school, and sometimes become the teacher’s pet. They like to be with other kids or grownups and enjoy getting attention either by pleasing or by entertaining. They start to know what others need without being told at a young age.

Helper children may be social at the expense of developing their own individual interests, so parents and teachers can help by encouraging the arts, computers, sciences, reading, and/or whatever Helper children show curiosity about in addition to people.

Sally’s mother preferred working to being a housewife so Sally, as the oldest of three, took over many of her mother’s duties, such as the cooking and cleaning the house. This freed the two younger children to lead the socially active lives they preferred. Sally, who was artistically talented, didn’t realize she was missing out on learning skills that could have helped her with her career by being tied down to household duties. Unfortunately, this situation was allowed to continue for many years.

The advantage of studying the nine types of children is that it both points out the strengths of each type, for example pleasing others and the ability to create harmony, and also cautions us about some of the pitfalls to look out for.

Please see my blog of 5-18-10 on Psychology Today, http://bit.ly/psychtdy “Why You Should Hire a “Helper” Personality” for  information on adult Helpers, careers, etc.

For more on “Finding the Birthday Cake:” http://www.wagele.com/Finding.html

To buy: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Indiebound

For “The Enneagram of Parenting:” http://www.wagele.com/EnneagramParent.html

To buy: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Indiebound

For more on “The Career Within You” http://www.careerwithinyou.com

Tp buy: Amazon.com: http://bit.ly/8YTdOsHo

Indie bound: http://www.indiebound.org/book/9780061718618