How to Find Your Perfect Love Match

The Enneagram will help you choose a partner wisely or revive a relationship.

After writing “The Enneagram Made Easy,” Renee Baron and I were asked so many questions by people looking for a partner that we decided to write a book about the Enneagram and relationships. For “Are You My Type, Am I Yours?” (HarperCollins) we interviewed hundreds of people about their past and present relationships. We wanted to know which Enneagram combinations worked and didn’t work and why. We organized our book according to how each of the nine types gets along with the other eight types: why they like them and why they have trouble with them. We also have charts in each chapter that show which type each type chooses to pair up with most and least often .

We found that female Perfectionists, for example, pair up with male Peace Seekers most often and male Adventurers pair up with female Helpers and Romantics the most. Sometimes types choose each other because they’re so different but after a year or so, the differences that attracted them becomes a problem. Someone who seemed stimulating at first may in time seems to lack depth or appears depressed. Someone who’s attractive because he’s mellow at first may in time become objectionable because of not having enough ambition. So much depends on the combination.

“Are You My Type, Am I Yours?” helps readers become aware of their own past experiences that can shed light on their present or future involvements.

This book teaches some helpful Enneagram theory and information (subtypes, the three centers, how the Enneagram meshes with the MBTI TM system, how to tell lookalike types apart, famous pairs, and “wings and arrows”) and includes tests to identify the reader’s type. Also, people have pointed out to me (and I agree) that some of my best cartoons are in this book. Relationships make good material for cartooning.