“Questioners” (Type 6) as Children

From "The Enneagram of Parenting" by E. Wagele

Now read about all the nine Enneagram types as children on this WordPress blog under the category “Enneagram Books and Children.”   

Personality typology explains why we frustrate each other. It’s not always because we don’t think straight or don’t have common sense, it’s often because we’re born with different ways of looking at the world. This produces different values. When we try to walk in others’ shoes (when we learn the Enneagram), our frustration eases and dealing with our family members, students, teachers, or fellow students becomes easier.

The Enneagram personality system had been around for about twenty years. At first it was kept a secret. Its leaders thought the world couldn’t handle it. Then the positive ones among them exerted more influence. They wanted to share their newfound prize and tell the world about it. Classes and books about the Enneagram sprang up starting mainly in 1987.

In 1997, I wrote the first book for using the Enneagram with children in families and schools, The Enneagram of Parenting. Each type has a different learning style, for example, and different paces, outlooks on life, and needs to nurture and be nurtured. In 2007, I wrote the first book for young children to learn the Enneagram by reading it themselves or having it read to them, Finding the Birthday Cake. Both books are full of cartoons and are easily accessible.

Questioner children have busy, alert minds, are suspicious of flattery, and are always on the lookout for danger. They can be quick-tempered, brave, and anti-authoritarian. Some are assertive, others are timid. Stevie Six is a character from Finding the Birthday Cake:

Here is a test from Finding the Birthday Cake:

See my list of Famous People’s Enneagram and MBTI types.

More Famous People are on my Psychology Today blog and my WordPress blog.

See my Happy Introvert and Creative Enneagram on You Tube.

Buy The Enneagram of Parenting

Kindle edition

Buy Finding the Birthday Cake


9 Ways to Raise Kids Perfectly

The best way to raise children is to study the nine types of people so your mind will be open to how different we are from each other. What children need is to be listened to and heard. They need to be heard by someone who has self-knowledge! If you don’t know your own limitations you will be likely to expect unreasonable things from your child. The Enneagram can help you and your child’s teachers. It teaches acceptance. Understanding that 9 types of children are equally valuable leads to learning different learning styles. Nobody raises “perfect kids” (perfect kids would not be human kids), but being open to your kid being a completely new person never seen before would be wonderful. I would wish that on everyone instead of the way some parents usually try to pour their children into molds. Wouldn’t you like that if you were starting life over?

Now to Adrienne Williams, a 6-Questioner who talks about the Enneagram on www.Examiner.com. She has a new web site called Enneagram Life. You can find out a little about the Questioner personality in my blog in Psychology Today. She has worked with children of all ages in her professional career—from 4-years-old up. Some have had behavioral and mental challenges and have been deaf. She believes a person’s Enneagram type is clearly visible and that there are clues in finding them.

Amy the 8-Asserter

Amy the 8-Asserter

In a recent column she wrote about Ingrid Stabb’s video with children. “As an Enneagram Six, I can remember the time at age 4, when my fears and anxieties affected me in positive and negative ways. If only I’d had the tools the children on this video do today… I remember working with this child who I believed showed characteristics of an Enneagram Eight [Asserter]. His mother would come to me in tears, not understanding. “Why is my child always pushing, hitting, attacking children, not getting along with others, and wanting to control me and other children?” She didn’t understand why her child needed to direct others, [why he] always tried to lead the shy children… and why he saw himself as their protector…” Adrienne wished she could have used the Enneagram with the children in that classroom but at the time she didn’t have the authority to do so.

I don’t know if The Enneagram of Parenting, which is used by many teachers in elementary schools, had been published yet when Adrienne wanted to use the Enneagram with children. As far as I know, this was the first book that addressed using the Enneagram with children. Several years later, my little book that teaches children the Enneagram, Finding the Birthday Cake, was published. Parents and teachers like the short test adults can use to assess their children’s types. Kids like the animal characters. The Happy Introvert has a chapter on children as well. See the covers below.

If you look to the left you will see some other blogs about Enneagram types as children. All of my books are full of my cartoons too.

Buy The Enneagram of Parenting: Amazon

Enneagram of Parenting

The Enneagram of Parenting

Buy Finding the Birthday Cake: Amazon

Finding the Birthday Cake

Finding the Birthday Cake











Buy Enneagram Made Easy:  Amazon

The Enneagram Made Easy

Buy The Beethoven Enneagram

Are You My Type, Am I Yours?


The Beethoven Enneagram CD

Buy The Career Within You: Amazon


The Career Within You

To buy Are You My Type, Am I Yours? click here.

“Perfectionists” as Children (Type One)

Three fish from "The Enneagram of Parenting"

One parent reported his son would line up grains of sand in his crib in perfect lines as a baby. He grew up to become a Perfectionist airplane pilot, a good occupation along with dentist, surgeon and other careers where being exact is important. Some Perfectionist children become teachers’ pets for being obedient, turning in assignments on time, and encouraging their peers to do what’s expected of them. When I taught piano lessons, I tried to downplay the importance of getting every note right. Some children applied their own pressure to themselves, though, and I couldn’t convince them that a wrong note here and there was nothing to be ashamed of. I suspect it was most often the Perfectionists who were most likely to burst out in tears when they made mistakes.

Walter One from "Finding the Birthday Cake"

As is often the case in the Enneagram, there are two kinds of Perfectionists: the meticulous one featured in these two cartoons and the kind that pays more attention to principals, ideals, and causes. This second type might grow up to be an ecologist, consumer activist, or minister. Of course, both aspects can be combined in the same person. Perfectionists want to do what is right and usually strive to improve themselves throughout their lives.

In order to reduce the stress of Perfectionist children, parents and teachers do well to encourage creativity and free play. Creativity and having fun get children in touch with their own desires and beauty so they have less time to focus on what they “should” or “ought to” be doing. It helps to schedule in these times, especially for the most serious Perfectionists.

To Buy “The Enneagram of Parenting:” Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Indiebound

To Buy “Finding the Birthday Cake:” Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Indiebound

For more information about all of Wagele’s books and tape: http://www.wagele.

“Finding the Birthday Cake” Teaches Acceptance to Children

After I wrote “The Enneagram of Parenting,” I decided to write a book for teaching children the Enneagram. Children had been learning the Enneagram from my Enneagram of Parenting book from looking at the many cartoons, but I wanted to write a book specifically for younger children from six or younger to ten. My first dilemma was: how would kids see my drawings as representing types of people? I was afraid if I drew human characters they might resemble someone a child might know, a neighbor kid for example, which could confuse them. So I decided to use animals.

I wanted to have a mystery to keep the children’s attention, so I had the birthday cake go missing and the animals look for it in ways characteristic of their type. One example is the Romantic who sings a song that so beautifully she is sure the cake will hear it and come running to see who is making this wonderful music. A romantic idea, indeed. You can see a drawing of this dressed up Romantic horse on my Psychology Today blog of April 13, 2010: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-career-within-you/201004/peace-the-inside-out-ii

I wondered if I should have a fierce animal for the most assertive type and a gentle animal for a gentle personality. I decided to go against stereotyping, so I made a tiny goldfish represent the most assertive type. At the end of each type’s section we hear the character that represents that type say something like, “I hope we find the cake soon so we can have the most PERFECT party!” – or whatever adjective best describes its type’s idea of a great party. Freddy Five, the Observer rabbit, wants to have the most INTERESTING party in the world.

By the end of the book we have met all the characters and the mystery of the missing cake has been solved. You won’t guess what happened to the cake in a million years. It does turn up, though, so the party goes on. There’s a moral to the story, too. In addition, the Enneagram does its own magic by showing children nine different styles of behaving that are all perfectly acceptable and honored. Children will recognize themselves and friends and family in this book and they’ll notice that personality differences really do exist and that they’re okay. Even good! It’s an excellent book to use in schoolrooms and families to further the value of tolerance.

For Reviews and more information: “Finding the Birthday Cake; Helping Children Raise Their Self-esteem” http://www.wagele.com/Finding.html

Buy “Finding the Birthday Cake” now:
Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Indiebound